Dad Bants

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3 views · Added 16d ago · 3 definitions

The only kind of banter that fathers think is cool and actually sounds like a broken radio.

Dad: 'You're gonna fail life, just like your mom.' Son: 'At least I don't smell like a gym sock.'

Mom: 'He just said that to your brother.' Dad: 'That’s my son. He’s got guts.'

Dad: 'You think you're tough? I had three jobs when I was your age.' Kid: 'You had three jobs because you couldn’t keep a job.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

The kind of back-and-forth only dads and their kids can survive, and it usually ends with someone crying or throwing a sandwich.

Dad: 'You're gonna be a failure.' Kid: 'You're a failure.' Dad: 'At least I don't wear pajamas to school.'

Kid: 'You're the worst dad.' Dad: 'You're the worst kid.' Kid: 'You're also the worst husband.'

Dad: 'You don't even know how to tie your shoes.' Kid: 'You don't know how to tie your pants.' Dad: 'At least I don't drool on my shirt.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

The only kind of conversation that makes sense to a dad and makes no sense to the rest of the world.

Dad: 'You failed math.' Kid: 'I failed math because you're a terrible teacher.' Dad: 'I'm not a terrible teacher. I'm a great teacher. You're just a terrible student.'

Kid: 'I'm going to college.' Dad: 'You're going to fail.' Kid: 'You're going to fail at failing.'

Dad: 'You're gonna be poor.' Kid: 'You're poor.' Dad: 'At least I'm not a failure.' Kid: 'You’re both a failure and poor.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago