daandeden

You said I talk like a broken parrot. I said you write like a confused octopus. Now you’re crying in the subway.

He called my English ‘a language from the toilet’. I called his grammar ‘a crime scene’. He’s now on the floor.

She said my English was ‘worse than a cat’s breakfast’. I said her English was ‘like a dog’s dinner’. She ran out screaming.

He said my English was ‘like a baby fighting a bear’. I said his was ‘like a bear fighting a baby’. He threw a sandwich at me.

She said my English was ‘worse than a bear fighting a baby’. I said hers was ‘like a baby fighting a bear with a broken arm’. She laughed until she cried.

They said my English was ‘like a bear fighting a baby’. I said theirs was ‘like a baby fighting a bear that just ate a whole chicken’.

I called his English ‘like a drunk raccoon in a tornado’. He called mine ‘like a raccoon drunk in a tornado’. We both got banned from the group chat.

She said my English was ‘like a raccoon drunk in a tornado’. I said hers was ‘like a tornado drunk in a raccoon’. She laughed so hard she fell over.

He said my English was ‘like a raccoon drunk in a tornado’. I said his was ‘like a tornado drunk in a raccoon with a broken leg’. He said I was ‘the worst’.

I said his English was ‘like a war between a raccoon and a bear’. He said mine was ‘like a war between a bear and a raccoon with a broken leg’. Now we’re at war.

She insulted my English so bad I started a war. Now we’re all fighting over grammar.

He said my English was ‘so bad it started a war’. I said his was ‘so bad it started a war and a half’. We’re still fighting.

I said his English was ‘like eating a bad pizza in a storm’. He said mine was ‘like eating a storm in a bad pizza’. We both got sick.

She said my English was ‘like eating a storm in a bad pizza’. I said hers was ‘like eating a pizza in a storm with a broken leg’. She threw a napkin at me.

He said my English was ‘like eating a storm in a bad pizza’. I said his was ‘like eating a pizza in a storm with a broken raccoon’. He laughed so hard he fell off the chair.

He roasted me so hard I went to the hospital. Now they think I have a mental disease.

She said my English was ‘so bad it sent me to the hospital’. I said hers was ‘so bad it sent me to the hospital twice’. She had to be wheeled out.

He said my English was ‘so bad it sent me to the hospital’. I said his was ‘so bad it sent me to the hospital with a broken leg’. We both got checked in.