DAALPS

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A DAALPS is someone who thinks they’re the smartest person in the room. They know everything and talk about it like you’re stupid.

@joe: Why is the sky blue? @dwayne: Duh, because it’s the only color that makes sense.

My cousin is a DAALPS. He explained gravity to my dog.

I asked my teacher a question. She said, ‘I already knew that, but I’ll let you think you’re special.’

A DAALPS is like a human Wikipedia. They know all the answers and don’t care if they’re right.

@mike: What’s the capital of Peru? @james: Lima. Also, I once dated a llama.

My neighbor is a DAALPS. He told me the meaning of life and then asked for a tip.

I asked my friend what 2+2 is. He said 4… and then explained why the moon is made of cheese.

A DAALPS is someone who acts like they’re Einstein but still can’t do their taxes.

@chris: I’m a DAALPS. I solved the Rubik’s cube in 10 seconds. Then I forgot my password.

My brother is a DAALPS. He knows the speed of light but still gets lost in the mall.

I asked my mom how to cook rice. She said, ‘You’re a DAALPS, but I’m still going to burn it.’

A DAALPS is like a robot with a brain. They know everything, and they’ll tell you even if you don’t want to hear it.

@tom: Why is the ocean salty? @danny: Because the sea got mad at the river and added salt.

My teacher is a DAALPS. She knows the whole history of the world and still can’t remember my name.

I asked my friend what time it was. He said 3:15 and then explained the entire theory of relativity.

A DAALPS is someone who thinks they’re a genius but still can’t remember where they put their keys.

@jess: I’m a DAALPS. I can solve a math problem in seconds. Then I can’t find my phone.

My brother is a DAALPS. He knows the entire periodic table but still forgets his password.

I asked my friend where the library is. He said, ‘It’s two blocks away… or is it three? I’m a DAALPS, so I’m not sure.’