B.O.F.U.B.
A person who looks like they were hit by a muffin and then fell into a trash can.
My teacher’s mom is a BOFU B. She wore a hat with feathers and still managed to make me cry.
My friend’s aunt is a BOFU B. She wears sunglasses at 9 AM and still smells like a gym sock.
My cousin’s boss is a BOFU B. He wears a shirt that says 'I love donuts' and still looks like he needs a nap.