I told my fish, 'You're my love of my life, baby!' He didn't even swim.

My hamster said, 'I'm not your baby, I'm your prisoner!' I told him, 'You're my baby, you're my prisoner!' He rolled over.

I said to my bird, 'You're the bestest bird in the whole wide world, baby!' He said, 'You're the worstest human in the whole wide world!'