Baboonoids
Your butt is so swollen from hemorrhoids, it looks like a baboon’s butt after it took a licking and kept on ticking.
My butt is so swollen, it looks like a baboon got hit by a truck and then kept running.
This hemorrhoid situation is like a baboon that got run over and still kept fighting.
My butt is so big from hemorrhoids, it looks like a baboon that got hit by a bus and then took a nap.