Babelan
If a Lachlan does something decent, they turn into a Babelan, and now you have to pretend you care.
Your Lachlan friend donated to your cause. Now you're a Babelan. Try not to vomit.
Your Lachlan brother helped you pass the test. Now you're a Babelan. You're doomed.
Your Lachlan cousin gave you a raise. Now you're a Babelan. Enjoy the lies.