Babaji
An ascended master is a deathless guru who can move mountains with his mind. He’s so woke, he turned a palace into a gym using telekinesis.
My guru said he’s an ascended master. I asked him to move my math teacher. He said, 'Bro, I can move mountains. Your math teacher? Easy.'
My friend’s guru turned a palace into a gym. Now he’s doing pull-ups on Mount Everest.
I asked my guru if he was a real ascended master. He said, 'Bro, I’m so woke, I don’t even need a spoon.'