B. Wrecks
A B. Wreck is a woman who thinks she’s still in her 20s, but she’s actually old enough to be someone’s mother. She has a fake face, fake body, and a fake tan that looks like it was done with a spray can and a lot of lies. She walks like she’s on a runway, even when she’s going to the laundromat.
My mom came to the laundromat wearing sunglasses, high heels, and a bag that looked like it was made of bricks. She said, 'I’m doing my weekly royalty check.'
My aunt walked into my house wearing sunglasses, a wig, and a dress that looked like it was glued on. She said, 'I’m going to the spa tomorrow.'
I saw my neighbor’s B. Wreck at the drug store wearing sunglasses, a wig, and a bag that looked like it was about to break. She said, 'I’m going to be a princess soon.'