B. Wrecks

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#cosmetic disaster #tan rage #fashion fraud

5 views · Added 15d ago · 3 definitions

A B. Wreck is a woman in her late 40s to early 50s who thinks she’s still in high school. She’s got some kind of fake face and body that looks like it was done by a kid with a glue gun. She’s always tan, wears sunglasses in a bathroom, and acts like everyone else is beneath her.

I saw my mom at the grocery store wearing sunglasses and high heels. She looked like she was about to eat the cashier.

My aunt walked into my uncle’s office wearing sunglasses and a neon shirt. He said, 'You look like a toaster.'

My neighbor’s B. Wreck came to my house in sunglasses and a tube sock. I asked her why she was wearing a sock, and she said, 'It’s fashion.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A B. Wreck is a woman who thinks she’s a princess but is really just a middle-aged person who got a face lift from a kid with a glitter pen. She wears sunglasses in a club, carries a big bag like it’s the Eiffel Tower, and talks to people like they’re her servants.

My coworker came in wearing sunglasses, a wig, and a bag that looked like it held a small animal. She said, 'I’m doing my daily royal duty.'

My friend’s B. Wreck came to the mall in sunglasses and a dress that looked like it was made of glue. I said, 'You look like a failed art project.'

I saw my cousin’s B. Wreck at the gas station wearing sunglasses and a wig. She said, 'I’m going to Paris next week.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

A B. Wreck is a woman who thinks she’s still in her 20s, but she’s actually old enough to be someone’s mother. She has a fake face, fake body, and a fake tan that looks like it was done with a spray can and a lot of lies. She walks like she’s on a runway, even when she’s going to the laundromat.

My mom came to the laundromat wearing sunglasses, high heels, and a bag that looked like it was made of bricks. She said, 'I’m doing my weekly royalty check.'

My aunt walked into my house wearing sunglasses, a wig, and a dress that looked like it was glued on. She said, 'I’m going to the spa tomorrow.'

I saw my neighbor’s B. Wreck at the drug store wearing sunglasses, a wig, and a bag that looked like it was about to break. She said, 'I’m going to be a princess soon.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago