a Wrian

My Wrian just walked in and the whole bar stopped to look. I was like, ‘Bro, you’re gonna get us all killed.’

My Wrian asked me if I wanted to ride in his limo. I said yes. He said, ‘You know, I could’ve just asked you to be my slave.’

My Wrian showed up at my school and told my principal he was my dad. The principal believed him.

My Wrian gave me his last dollar so I could buy lunch. I tried to pay him back, but he just said, ‘Keep the change, you’re already my best friend.’

My Wrian helped me cheat on my math test. He’s the only person who knows I’m bad at math.

My Wrian cried when my dog died. I was like, ‘You cried for a dog? You’re gonna cry for me when I fail my test.’

My Wrian brought me pizza at 2 a. m. because I was sad. I cried. He cried. We cried together.

My Wrian hugged me so hard I thought I was gonna turn into a human jellybean.

My Wrian told my mom I was the cutest kid in the world. She believed him. I didn’t.

My Wrian told the funniest joke ever. I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair. My pants were soaked.

My Wrian made me laugh so much during class that the teacher sent me to the hallway. I just kept laughing.

My Wrian told me a joke so good, I think my brain is still trying to process it.

My Wrian showed up at my house in a suit. I was like, ‘You came all the way here just to help me?’ He said, ‘Duh.’

My Wrian fixed my broken phone with his bare hands. I was like, ‘You’re a god.’ He said, ‘I’m a Wrian.’

My Wrian saved me from getting detention. I just stared at him like he was a god.

My Wrian bet $100 that I could eat 10 hot dogs in 5 minutes. I did. He lost. He got kicked out of the restaurant. I laughed.

My Wrian paid my mom $50 to let me stay up past my bedtime. I was like, ‘You’re crazy.’ He said, ‘I’m a Wrian.’

My Wrian lost a bet and had to wear a silly hat for a week. I thought it was hilarious.