a twinkie

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1
A sack of drugs that costs twenty bucks, but if you're broke, it might as well be twenty grand. Usually filled with cocaine or weed, depending on who's selling it and how bad they want your money.
Bro, I just bought a twinkie for twenty bucks and it only had like three hits of weed inside.
That twinkie was supposed to be pure cocaine, but it came with a note that said, 'Don’t trust the guy who sold it to you.'
I ate a twinkie and felt like I’d been hit by a truck. Probably because it was just laced with rat poison.
2
A snack cake that’s dry as a dead man’s ass. It looks like a golden cake, but it’s got the texture of a brick. Goes great with milk, which is basically the only thing that can save it.
My mom eats twinkies for breakfast and I’ve never seen a human being that pale.
That twinkie was so dry, I had to use a fork to scrape the filling out of it.
I tried to eat a twinkie without milk, and my mouth felt like it had been sandblasted.
3
A person who talks too much and lies so much, you might as well just call them a human garbage disposal. They’re full of crap and they’re gonna ruin your life.
My friend is a twinkie. He told me he could beat up a whole football team, and then he cried when he got in a fight with a kid.
My teacher is a twinkie. She told us the Earth was flat, and then she failed the entire class.
My dog is a twinkie. He barked at a tree and then ran away like it was a war.
4
22-inch rims that make your car look like it was built for a superhero. They’re loud, they’re flashy, and they’re probably gonna break before the end of the year.
My cousin has 22-inch rims and he thinks he’s a king. He drives like he’s being chased by a dragon.
My friend’s car has 22-inch rims and it makes a noise like a chainsaw on a skateboard.
I tried to drive with 22-inch rims, and my car sounded like a spaceship taking off.
5
When a guy goes full on and cums in your pants like he’s trying to win a bet. It’s messy, it’s loud, and it’s probably gonna make your life worse.
My boyfriend did a twinkie on me in front of my entire class, and I still haven’t lived it down.
My dad did a twinkie on my mom and it was so loud, the neighbors called the police.
I did a twinkie on my sister, and she’s still mad at me.
6
An Asian person who’s either adopted or living in a white neighborhood, and they’re like, 'I’m not Asian, I’m just white with a side of yellow.' They act like they’re the best at everything, and they’re probably lying.
My neighbor is a twinkie. He says he’s not Asian, he’s just white with a little extra flavor.
My friend’s sister is a twinkie. She got adopted by a white family and now she thinks she’s better than everyone.
My teacher is a twinkie. She says she’s not Asian, she’s just white with a little spice.
7
A golden cake with a creamy filling that’s been around for decades, and people think it’s magic. It’s not magic, it’s just good. But some people think it’s forever, and they’re probably just trying to save money.
My grandpa eats twinkies every day and he says they’re magic. I don’t know, he just looks like he’s been alive for a long time.
People say twinkies last forever, but I think that’s just a lie told by people who want to save money.
I tried to eat a twinkie that was 25 days old, and it was still good. But I still don’t believe the forever myth.
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