a towe - So drunk you can't even stand up, you're so wasted, you need

So drunk you can't even stand up, you're so wasted, you need a chair to help you breathe.

'He drank so much, he passed out in the middle of the street, and the cops had to drag him out of a puddle.'

'She was so wasted, she tried to talk to the moon, and it didn't respond.'

'He was so smashed, he tried to dance with a wall, and it didn't like it.'