A sploge
A sploge is just a big pile of dried-up sperm that someone left on the floor of a peep show. It smells like old socks and regret.
That sploge on the floor looked like someone had a bad day and threw up sperm.
My sploge friend once walked into a peep show and saw a sploge and cried.
The sploge on the floor was so old, it had a beard and a job.