a Sélène
A Sélène is the best person ever. She’s always there for you. She laughs at your stupid jokes. She doesn’t care if you’re a mess. And she’s hot. So why aren’t you dating one yet?"
You: "I’m so broke and sad." Sélène: "I’ll buy you pizza. And I’ll laugh at your bad jokes."
You: "I failed my test." Sélène: "You’re still my favorite person. And I still think you’re hot."
You: "I’m going to die alone." Sélène: "No. I’ll be with you. And I’ll bring snacks."