A Portland pie
A Portland pie is when some kid beats the hell out of your car with a stick and then dumps a whole pizza and a can of soda in your car like it’s a pie and leaves it to melt in the sun.
My car was like a pie that got smashed and filled with pizza and soda.
I came back to my car and it was like a pizza that got hit with a stick and left in the sun.
My car was so messed up it looked like someone took a pie and threw it in the oven with a soda inside.