A politic

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

A politic is a grown man who still lives in his mom’s basement, eating cereal for dinner and yelling at a screen because he lost a battle in a video game.

DM: 'Mom, I’m getting a second job. Fortnite needs me.'

Tweet: 'I’ve never left my basement. I don’t know how to use a phone.'

Text: 'I’m not lazy. I’m just strategically placed.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A politic is when you have too many ticks, and they’re all annoying and hungry, and they bite you at the worst times.

Tweet: 'I have 10 ticks on my leg and I’m still wearing socks.'

Text: 'Why is my dog covered in ticks? He’s like a tick infestation in a dog suit.'

DM: 'I’m not going outside. I have 20 ticks in my pants.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A politic is when you look for trouble, find it, and then punch it in the face with the wrong hand.

Text: 'I found a problem. Now I’m solving it with my left hand. That’s not working.'

Tweet: 'I diagnosed my problem wrong. Now I’m wearing a bandage and crying.'

DM: 'I found trouble. Now I’m stuck with it and a broken nose.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A politic is the fastest way to go from having friends to having no friends and a lot of regrets.

Tweet: 'I lost my friends and now I have no life.'

Text: 'I said the worst thing ever. Now I’m alone.'

DM: 'I got kicked out of the group chat. I don’t know why.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A politic is when life gives you two options, and both are terrible, but one of them acts like it's the best thing ever.

Tweet: 'Life gave me two options. Both are garbage. One of them is bragging about it.'

Text: 'I had to choose between two bad things. Now I hate both.'

DM: 'I had to pick between two terrible choices. Now I’m confused and mad.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A politic is when you lie to people just to make your side look good, even if you're all wrong.

Tweet: 'I’m lying to make my group look good. I’m not proud of it.'

Text: 'We’re all wrong, but I’m still lying to look better.'

DM: 'I told a lie. Now I’m the hero of the group. I hate it.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A politic is when you have many ticks, and they’re all annoying and hungry and they don’t stop biting.

Tweet: 'I have so many ticks. They’re like a family of ticks living in my hair.'

Text: 'I got 10 ticks in my pants. I’m not going anywhere.'

DM: 'I have ticks. They’re attacking me and I’m not happy.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago