a plant
A person who’s too high to function, like a doofus who just inhaled a whole bag of weed and thinks he’s a superhero.
'I’m not high, I’m a plant.', Jake, after failing his math test.
'He saw a spider and screamed like a girl.', His friend, who’s not a plant.
'I just ate three cookies and now I’m a plant.', Sarah, who’s definitely a plant.