a plant

Current Trending

7 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

A person who’s too high to function, like a doofus who just inhaled a whole bag of weed and thinks he’s a superhero.

'I’m not high, I’m a plant.', Jake, after failing his math test.

'He saw a spider and screamed like a girl.', His friend, who’s not a plant.

'I just ate three cookies and now I’m a plant.', Sarah, who’s definitely a plant.

When you toss someone like a sack of potatoes and make them hit the ground harder than your grandma’s hip.

'He planted me so hard I thought I was in a car crash.', Mark, after a wrestling match.

'I planted that guy so fast, he didn’t even know what hit him.', The judo coach, who’s a legend.

'She planted me so hard, I got a concussion and a free lunch.', Brad, who got lunch and a concussion.

A sneaky backstabber who gets sent in to mess up a group and make everyone argue like a broken radio.

'That plant started a fight between my best friends.', Lisa, who’s tired of drama.

'He was a plant and he made the whole team hate each other.', The coach, who’s also a plant.

'She was a plant and she made the group think I stole her lunch.', Tim, who didn’t steal her lunch.

Things that take in oxygen like it’s free, then eat your corpse like it’s a free meal.

'Plants are like the mean old lady who takes your oxygen and then eats you.', Tom, who’s very dramatic.

'They’re like the teacher who gives you oxygen and then grades you on your death.', Mike, who’s scared of plants.

'Plants are like your mom, but they eat you when you die.', Sarah, who’s very dramatic.

The stinky smell of a bunch of plants, like when your grandma’s house is filled with weeds and old socks.

'That plant smell was like my grandma’s closet after a hurricane.', Jake, who’s never been to a hurricane.

'I walked into a room full of plants and it hit me like a brick wall.', Mark, who’s very descriptive.

'The plant smell was like my brother’s gym bag after he forgot to clean it.', Lisa, who’s very honest.

A person who doesn’t care about love, sex, or even your DMs. They’re like a ghost who only shows up at the bar.

'He’s a plant, he didn’t even look at me when I walked in.', Sarah, who got ghosted.

'That girl’s a plant, she didn’t even talk to me.', Mark, who’s very sad.

'He’s a plant and he’s sitting at the bar like he owns it.', Lisa, who’s very annoyed.

A bunch of people from upstate NY who work at the library, play hockey, and think they’re the best at everything.

'They’re like the people who work at the library and think they’re the best at everything.', Tom, who’s very honest.

'They play hockey like it’s their job and they’re not even tired.', Mark, who’s very impressed.

'They’re like my aunt, who thinks she’s the best at everything, even though she’s not.', Lisa, who’s very realistic.