A new car!
When you buy a new or used car and you're so f***ing obsessed with it that you wash it every day, even if it's raining and you're f***ing naked.
'I washed my car again today. I'm a f***ing car god.', Tommy
'I washed my car after I pooped in it. I'm a f***ing car god.', Lisa
'I washed my car because I felt like it.', Jeff, who is literally f***ing nuts.