A Lord Of Shit

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2 views · Added 17d ago · 6 definitions

1
You’re the king of the stink pile. You dump your guts so hard, the peasants get a free shit shower and a side of moldy bread.
@LordOfShit2000 just took a dump so loud, my dog ran away and joined the army.
My cousin is the Lord of Shit. He took a dump in the lake and the fish started a union.
My mom called me the Lord of Shit because I ate a whole pizza before bed.
2
You do something so wild, it makes a toddler’s tantrum look like a regular day.
I did a backflip off a chair and that’s how I became a Lord of Shit.
My friend threw a shoe at a cop and became a Lord of Shit.
I bit a donut in half and that’s how I earned my title.
3
You’re so high on LSD, you think your toilet is a dragon and it’s trying to eat your soul.
I took 10 hits of LSD and my toilet started talking to me.
My sister turned into a unicorn and my toilet was its best friend.
I saw my dog ride a skateboard and my toilet cheered for him.
4
You smell so bad, the air turns into a fart and everyone in town gets a free sneeze.
My neighbor smells like a garbage can that’s been sitting in the sun for three weeks.
I walked by a guy who smelled like a dead raccoon in a sock.
My brother took a dump in a gym and the whole school got a free sneeze.
5
You’re a big pile of poop that people wish was a real thing.
My teacher said I was a big pile of poop and he meant it.
I got a C on my test because I was too much of a pile of poop to focus.
My dog thinks I’m a real pile of poop and he’s jealous.
6
You take a dump before, during, and after your shower like it’s a sacred ritual and you’re the chosen one.
I took a dump before my shower and now my toilet is my best friend.
I took a dump during my shower and my soap started crying.
I took a dump after my shower and now I smell like a sewer.
xs