I said, 'Why do Italians eat so much pasta? Because they don’t have any brains!' My friend laughed. My teacher said, 'That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!' I said, 'I’m a literal piece of lettuce!'

My friend said, 'Why do Asians have so many kids? Because they’re all in the same family!' I laughed. My teacher said, 'That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!' I said, 'I’m a literal piece of lettuce!'

In class, I said, 'Why do Black people talk so loud? Because they can’t hear!' My teacher said, 'That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! You’re a literal piece of lettuce!'