A Lifer

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7 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

A person who doesn't have a social media account and actually lives their life like a human being instead of being a useless, brain-dead, attention-starved, fidgeting, emoji-obsessed, internet-blob.

I don't post my breakfast on Instagram, I eat it and then go to work.

I don't have a TikTok, I have a brain.

I text my mom, not my followers.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A person who doesn't work and only has friends on the internet because they're too lazy to make real ones.

My only friend is my Discord group. They're all fake, and they don't even know me.

I don't know anyone in real life. I just talk to my plants.

I have 1000 followers but no friends. They don't even know me.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A person who spends all day doing one stupid thing because they're too dumb to do anything else. Like they play video games all day and then get mad at you for eating.

I played Fortnite for 14 hours straight and then cried because my mom made me do laundry.

I ran 5 miles and then sat on the couch for 3 hours.

I watched 100 cat videos and then fell asleep on the floor.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A person who updates their social media every 5 minutes like they're trying to prove they're not a complete idiot.

I posted 27 times today. I’m famous. I have a life. I’m not a nobody.

I posted my coffee and my cat and my dog and my neighbor’s dog. They’re all my friends now.

I posted my lunch, my dinner, my thoughts, and my opinion on the weather. I’m a genius.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

1. A person who's in jail for life and probably deserved it. 2. A birder who sees a bird they’ve never seen before and acts like it’s the end of the world.

I got life in prison for stealing a pizza. I think that's fair.

I saw a bluebird and screamed like it was the last bird on Earth.

I got 50 years for talking back to my boss. I was just being polite.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Your best friend who will save your life even if you’re an idiot and you keep making bad decisions.

My best friend saved me from a burning car. I was driving it.

They stuck with me when I broke up with my girlfriend and then my dog.

They showed up at my funeral. I didn’t know they were that good.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A Navy guy who does as little work as possible and just waits for retirement like it's the only thing keeping him alive.

I did one task all day and then sat there like I was dying.

I took 3 hours to put on my uniform. I'm a professional.

I didn't do my job and then got promoted. I'm a genius.

by Slangipedia 16d ago