A Jonathan

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#waterbottle#trash#legendary

5 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A Jonathan is a fancy-ass water bottle you fill with whatever trash you can find and keep shaking around like it’s gold. You carry it everywhere like it’s your baby and it’s gonna save your life.
At the job interview, I showed up with my Jonathan. The interviewer asked if I was a kid again.
Funeral? Bring your Jonathan. It’s like a spiritual experience.
My Jonathan has moldy bread and a receipt from 2013. It’s legendary.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
When you sleep through the entire night, then stumble into your internship looking like you just fought a bear.
I showed up 2 hours late because I was too busy eating pizza and crying in the shower.
I got to work looking like a raccoon who just got hit by a truck.
My boss asked if I had a death wish. I said, 'No, I just have a Jonathan.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
The realest nigga I know. He’s the type of guy who will fight you for the last slice of pizza and still be your best friend.
He’s the real deal. You can trust him with your life and your last dollar.
He’s the guy who will laugh at your jokes and then steal your girlfriend.
He’s so real, he even has a Jonathan.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
A guy who looks good, talks good, and acts like he owns the place. He’s got a temper and he’s got a plan for everything. But if you mess with him, you’re gonna get roasted.
He’s got a plan for everything. Even his dreams have a schedule.
He got mad at me because I didn’t bring him a sandwich. I regret it.
He’s got a temper, but he’s got a smile that makes everything better.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A guy who never gives up. He’s got a smile, a sense of humor, and he will do anything for the people he loves.
He’s the kind of guy who will stay up all night to make sure you’re okay.
He’s like a superhero. He’s got a smile and a plan.
He’s the reason you’re still here. Don’t mess it up.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A guy who will make you laugh until you cry. He’s happy all the time, and if he’s not, you know something’s wrong.
He’s the type of guy who will make you laugh even when you’re stuck in traffic.
He’s the guy who will make you smile even when you’re having a bad day.
He’s got a smile that can make a whole room happy.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
A guy who’s so sweet, you can’t stay mad at him. He writes poems, he’s got a cute smile, and he’s got a girlfriend who’s lucky to have him.
He’s sweet, he’s cute, and he writes poems. What more could you want?
He’s got a smile that makes you forget all your problems.
He’s got a girlfriend who’s got it good. Don’t mess it up.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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