a "Johnson" answer

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1
A Johnson answer is when you get asked a question and you act like you're king of the world, then you ramble like a lunatic, say nonsense, and make everyone confused.
When asked, 'What's 2+2?' he said, 'It's the mathematical conundrum of modern existence, my dear.'
She was asked, 'Why are you late?' and replied, 'I was contemplating the meaning of life in the back of a taxi.'
He was asked, 'Do you want coffee?' and he said, 'I'm not sure. I need to consult the oracle of ancient Rome.'
2
A Johnson answer is when you blow smoke out of your ass and make up fancy words to sound smart, even though you don’t have a clue.
'What’s the capital of France?' 'It’s the city of destiny, or something like that.'
He was asked, 'What’s your name?' and he said, 'I am the son of the gods, born from the clouds of time.'
When asked, 'What did you do today?' he said, 'I transcended the boundaries of time and space.'
3
A Johnson answer is when you talk like you're the president, but you're just making it up and everyone is confused.
'What’s your favorite color?' 'It’s the hue of victory, my friend.'
He was asked, 'Do you like pizza?' and he said, 'It's a sacred food, revered by millions across the globe.'
When asked, 'Are you ready?' he said, 'I am prepared for the apocalypse.'
4
A Johnson answer is when you use big words and nonsense to hide the fact that you’re just making it all up.
'What’s the weather like?' 'It’s a tempest of thunder and glory.'
She said, 'I did my homework,' but it was just a bunch of Greek words and a drawing of a cat.
He was asked, 'What’s your plan?' and he said, 'I intend to conquer the moon.'
5
A Johnson answer is when you talk like a genius but you’re just making it all up and everyone is lost.
'What’s your job?' 'I’m a consultant of the future.'
He said, 'I read the whole book,' but it was just one paragraph and a lot of fake Latin.
When asked, 'What’s your favorite subject?' he said, 'I’m studying the language of the stars.'
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