A Hatim

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A legendary man with a face like a donut and a cock so big it could start a war. He’s the reason why angels cry and why demons get jealous.

@hatim is the reason I failed math and my soul.

I saw Hatim in the street, I dropped my pants and cried.

My dog just tried to chew my phone because it heard Hatim’s voice.

A man so hot he could melt the sun. He’s also the funniest guy in the universe and will laugh so hard he’ll pee his pants.

I asked Hatim for a date, he said ‘I’ll take you to the moon, but only if you bring my mom.’

My sister is in love with Hatim. She’s now dating 3 of his cousins.

Hatim walked in, the room went silent. Then he farted. Now it’s a war.

A hairy, stoner, drunk, mofo who wears shirts that don’t match and drives like he’s racing the devil.

I saw Hatim driving. The cop said ‘you’re going to jail’ he said ‘I’m going to heaven’ and drove through a wall.

Hatim ate 10 pizzas, 3 donuts, and a whole chicken. Then he tried to dance.

My dog ran away because it heard Hatim’s voice.

A name that means ‘black crow’ but also means ‘the man who makes my life a nightmare.’

My teacher said ‘if you don’t behave, I’ll call Hatim.’ I started crying.

My brother named his dog Hatim. Now the dog laughs at me.

I tried to spell ‘Hatim’ and got it wrong. My teacher said ‘you’re dumber than Hatim’s cousin.’

A man who is smart, funny, and sometimes a total mess. He can do math in his head but can’t spell ‘Hatim’ correctly.

Hatim solved a math problem in 3 seconds. I took 10 minutes and failed.

I asked Hatim to spell ‘Hatim’ and he spelled it ‘Hate Me’.

My teacher said Hatim is the smartest kid in class. Then he said ‘he’s also the dumbest.’

A man who’s been through hell and came back with a new tattoo and a new girlfriend.

Hatim came back from hell and brought 3 pizzas with him.

My dog ran away because it saw Hatim’s new tattoo.

Hatim told me about his life. I started crying and ate a whole cake.

Tiny hats on animals. They look like they’re wearing party hats and are ready to dance.

My cat has a tiny hat. It looks like a fashion icon.

I saw a dog wearing a tiny hat. It looked like it was in a rap battle.

My hamster has a tiny hat. I think it’s the king of the tiny hats.