a grown ass man
A grown ass man is someone who thinks his kids come first, even if he's too lazy to brush his teeth. But if he starts calling himself one, he’s just trying to cover up that he’s a spineless piece of crap.
My dad's a grown ass man, until he forgets to feed the dog.
He said he's a grown ass man, but he still eats cereal for dinner.
He told me he's a grown ass man, but he cried when I broke his phone.