A Garret
A Garret is someone who poops, masturbates, and watches gay porn all at the same time. He doesn’t wash up, goes to sleep, and wakes up the next day with no idea what happened.
Garret: ‘I watched 5 hours of gay porn and pooped on the floor.’ Me: ‘That’s a new record.’
He texted me, ‘I did everything at once. It was the best day of my life.’
He tried to explain it to his mom. She said, ‘I don’t want to know.’