A Garret

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#lazy#awkward#joke-machine

6 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A Garret is a total slouch who never leaves his room unless forced. He’s way too polite for his own good and can’t stop telling ‘That’s What She Said’ jokes even when no one is laughing. He’s like a human awkwardness machine.
Garret: ‘Why are you sad?’ Me: ‘Because I failed math.’ Garret: ‘That’s what she said.’
Garret tried to flirt with my mom and said, ‘That’s what she said.’ My mom said, ‘That’s what he said.’
Garret told a joke in the middle of a funeral. ‘That’s what she said.’ The priest cried.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
A Garret is like a dimensional mess. He’s in one place, but his brain is somewhere else. He can’t tell a straight line from a joke and ends up stuck in a time loop of bad decisions.
Garret: ‘I’m going to the store.’ Me: ‘Okay.’ Garret: ‘I’ll be back in 5 minutes.’ 2 hours later: ‘I’m back.’
Garret went to the park, got lost, and came back with a map of the entire city.
He tried to cook dinner and ended up burning the house down.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
A Garret is a total legend. He’s tall, hot, and has eyes that could melt your face. He’s the kind of guy who would fight a whole football team for his best friend and still win. He’s the real MVP.
Garret defended his best friend from a group of guys and ended up making them all cry.
He texted me, ‘Your friend is being bullied. I’m coming to save you.’ I replied, ‘You’re a legend.’
He beat up the guy who said my friend was ugly. He had no idea what he was doing.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
A Garret is the kind of guy who can do anything. He’s never afraid, and if he is, he hides it well. Girls love him because he’s cool, funny, and he never gives up. He’s like the human version of a superpower.
Garret tried out for the basketball team and made it even though he couldn’t even shoot straight.
He failed a test and said, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.’
He dated my sister for a year and she still says he’s the best guy ever.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A Garret is a gay boy who thinks he’s the most important person in the universe. He’s loud, obnoxious, and loves to show off. He’s the kind of guy who will tell everyone he’s gay, even if he just came out.
Garret told my mom, ‘I’m gay, and I’m proud!’ My mom said, ‘Okay.’
He told everyone in class he was gay. He didn’t care if they laughed at him.
He texted me, ‘I’m the gayest person in the world. Everyone knows it.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A Garret is someone who poops, masturbates, and watches gay porn all at the same time. He doesn’t wash up, goes to sleep, and wakes up the next day with no idea what happened.
Garret: ‘I watched 5 hours of gay porn and pooped on the floor.’ Me: ‘That’s a new record.’
He texted me, ‘I did everything at once. It was the best day of my life.’
He tried to explain it to his mom. She said, ‘I don’t want to know.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
A Garret is a total hot guy who’s fun and knows how to kiss. He’s the kind of guy who will text you whenever he feels like it. He’s the best one-time hookup or the best boyfriend you’ll ever have.
Garret texted me, ‘Hey, I’m free. Want to go out?’ I said, ‘Yes.’
He kissed me and I said, ‘That was the best kiss ever.’
He texted me, ‘I’m coming over. Let’s have fun.’ I said, ‘Yes.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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