a fat minute
a long ass time, like you're waiting for a train that got hit by a truck and is now stuck in a ditch.
Man, I've been waiting for my pizza for a fat minute. My dog is now eating my shirt.
A fat minute is when your mom takes forever to finish her coffee and then decides to make a sandwich.
I waited for my cousin for a fat minute. He was stuck in a traffic jam with a goat.