a fat minute

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a long ass time, like you're waiting for a train that got hit by a truck and is now stuck in a ditch.

Man, I've been waiting for my pizza for a fat minute. My dog is now eating my shirt.

A fat minute is when your mom takes forever to finish her coffee and then decides to make a sandwich.

I waited for my cousin for a fat minute. He was stuck in a traffic jam with a goat.

a minute so long it feels like you’re sitting in a sauna with your dad’s old gym shorts.

I waited for my friend for a fat minute. He was stuck in a bathroom with a kid who wouldn’t stop singing.

My teacher gave me a fat minute of silence. It felt like forever.

I waited for my lunch for a fat minute. My sandwich was already mad at me.

a minute that stretches like taffy and makes you want to throw a chair.

I waited for my phone to charge for a fat minute. It was like watching paint dry.

My sister took a fat minute to finish her cereal. I ate it all.

I waited for my video game to load for a fat minute. My dog fell asleep in the middle of it.

a minute that feels like it’s been waiting for you to finish your thoughts, your life, and your regrets.

I waited for my dad for a fat minute. He was arguing with a chicken at the store.

I waited for my friend for a fat minute. He was trying to explain why cats are better than dogs.

I waited for my mom for a fat minute. She was trying to figure out how to use the toaster.