A Duncan
Duncan is the most goddamn smart person on Earth. He's hilarious, kind, and has the biggest cock ever. Every woman wants him, and every man wants to be him. If you're an idiot and he sees you, you're dead meat.
Duncan is so smart he could solve the world’s problems and still have time to flirt with my sister.
He’s so good-looking, he got a Nobel Prize for his ass.
He kicked my ass in math and then still had time to laugh at me.