A [blarney stone]
It’s a stone in Ireland that tourists kiss to get good at talking, but locals laugh at them because kids pee on it every day.
My friend kissed the stone and now he talks so much he’s like a broken parrot on a caffeine high.
My cousin kissed the Blarney Stone and then tried to convince his dog that it was a rockstar.
My brother kissed the Blarney Stone and now he’s trying to convince my mom that he’s a wizard.