a bird will never be a fish

2 views · Added 5d ago · 3 definitions

A fact so obvious it should be carved into the bones of everyone. You can’t turn a chicken into a tuna just because you want it. If you like rich guys don’t shack up with a mechanic. If you like tattooed trouble don’t marry the church mouse.

My cousin married a truck driver. Now she's stuck with a man who can't even remember his own coffee order.

My mom dated a priest. Now she's stuck in a house with a man who can't even remember his own coffee order.

I tried to make my dog a cat. It just looked confused and ate my homework.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A law of the universe. You can’t turn a fella into a woman just because you like it. If you like money don’t date the guy who smells like wet dog. If you like the wild life don’t marry the girl who’s always cleaning.

My uncle dated a librarian. Now he’s stuck with a woman who still remembers where the books are.

My friend tried to turn her cat into a bird. It just ran away and stole her sandwich.

I married a man who said he was a singer. Turns out he just sings in the shower.

by Slangipedia 5d ago

A rule that even the dumbest people should know. You can’t make a cow into a chicken just because you want chicken. If you like big cars don’t marry the guy who rides a bike. If you like loud music don’t marry the guy who’s always quiet.

My brother married a teacher. Now he’s stuck with a woman who still knows the answers.

My neighbor tried to turn her dog into a bird. It just ran away and started barking at the mailman.

I dated a man who said he was a chef. Turns out he just burns toast.

by Slangipedia 5d ago