A Alfred
Alfred is a guy you can't wrap your head around. He acts like a normal person until he does something so stupid it feels like he just snorted a bottle of glue. But deep down, he just wants someone to love him. Don't mess with him, or he'll rip your nuts off and use them as a stress ball.
Alfred just decided to build a treehouse in the middle of the highway. Why? Because he thought it would be cool. It wasn't.
He told me if I didn't stop talking during his nap, he'd throw me into a lake. I didn't stop talking.
He tried to explain the universe to a pigeon. The pigeon laughed at him.