P.U.W.M.S.

My boyfriend yelled at the TV for 20 minutes because the football player missed a catch. I had to eat my cereal in silence.

He said I was ‘boring’ because I didn’t laugh at his joke about pizza. I threw my phone at him.

He tried to explain why he cried at the movie. I didn’t ask why he cried at the movie.

He said I was ‘weak’ because I didn’t lift the couch. I was holding the TV remote.

He told me I ‘shouldn’t have to do all the work.’ I told him I didn’t want to do all the work.

He called me ‘bossy’ for telling him to stop eating my snack.

He painted his toenails purple and expected me to laugh. I cried.

He said he was ‘chill’ but then yelled at me for not being ‘chill’ enough.

He tried to be cool by wearing a hat inside. I asked why he was wearing a hat inside.

He threw his shoes at the wall because he lost the game. I had to clean it up later.

He told me I was ‘rude’ for not liking his joke. I told him I was ‘rude’ for telling me that.

He said I ‘should’ve known’ he was going to be late. I said I ‘should’ve known’ he’d be late.

He took a dump in the bathroom and forgot to flush. I had to smell it for the rest of the day.

He talked for an hour about his video game. I didn’t even know what the game was.

He said I was ‘overreacting’ when I told him to stop eating my chips.

He screamed at the dog for barking. I screamed at him for screaming.

He said I was ‘too sensitive’ for getting mad. I said he was ‘too loud’ for being stupid.

He took my spot on the couch and didn’t even apologize.