Palahniuk

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1
Chuck Palahniuk is the best author ever. He wrote Fight Club and all those other dumb books. He’s a legend. I’d marry him if he asked me.
I’d marry Chuck Palahniuk if he asked me. I’d even wear a tuxedo.
Chuck Palahniuk is the only author who makes me want to write. And I hate writing.
I’d die for Chuck Palahniuk. I’d even die for his dumb books.
2
Chuck Palahniuk is a genius who wrote Fight Club, which became a movie. He also wrote other books like Lullaby, Rant, and Invisible Monsters. He’s the real deal.
Fight Club is the best movie ever. It’s based on a book by Chuck Palahniuk. I know this because I’ve seen it 10 times.
Chuck Palahniuk’s books are like pizza. Everyone loves them, even if they’re not good.
I think Chuck Palahniuk is the best author alive. Even if he’s not.
3
Chuck Palahniuk is a fake writer who only writes dumb books so scene kids can put his quotes on MySpace. His books are all the same. He’s only famous because of Panic at the Disco.
Chuck Palahniuk’s books are all the same. They’re like fast food. Boring, but I eat them anyway.
Panic at the Disco is the reason Chuck Palahniuk is famous. They’re both fake.
Chuck Palahniuk’s books are just quotes. I’ve read them all. They’re not good.
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