Paladin
A paladin is a knight who fights for Charlemagne. They're fancy, important, and kind of useless in real battles.
My paladin saved the king. The king gave him a sandwich. The sandwich was bad.
My paladin fought a dragon. The dragon won. The paladin got a medal. It was a paper clip.
My paladin was important. He died. His horse ate his body. It was the best part of the story.