Paint Shop Pro
Paint Shop Pro is like a magic wand for images. It can open all sorts of file types, including some that even my grandma doesn't know about. It's way easier to use than Photoshop, which is basically a fancy calculator for artists.
I used Paint Shop Pro to turn my portrait into a comic book style and got called a genius.
My brother used Paint Shop Pro to add a beard to my mom and got kicked out of the house.
I used Paint Shop Pro to make my dog's portrait look like a superhero and got a standing ovation.