Pain or Horny
When you're stuck in the middle of a really bad decision like 'do I want to die or do I want to get laid?' and neither option is very appealing.
I was in traffic and thought 'is this pain or is this just the worst kind of horniness?' I chose the traffic. I regret it.
My boss said 'you're either dying or you're just really horny. pick one.' I said 'both. I'm a man of many choices.'
I was on the toilet and thought 'pain or horny? I'll take both.' My toilet paper ran out.