paichel
This damn tube looks like a bloated whale mouth that sucks down coffee while also scooping up messy ice cream. It is the only word in existence that does not sound like trash when you try to rhyme it with Rachel.
@BaristaBitch: My wide straw made me gag on this slush, but hey, at least 'paichel' rhymes with Rachel!
Sarah's DM: I hate small tubes. This giant paichel is the only thing that lets me eat my sundae without a spoon.
Review on Yelp: The shop uses these fancy wide straws so we can sip and scoop. It's weird but it beats using a fork.