pageant crack
A bunch of crazy moms who give their ugly kids Pixie sticks to make them look like monsters so they can win the pageant and everyone else loses.
Mom: 'If she eats three Pixie sticks, she'll be a glitter monster!' Kid: 'I'm gonna vomit glitter!'
The judge asked why the kid was wearing a crown made of candy wrappers. Mom said, 'It's a pageant crack!'
At the pageant, the kid looked like a rainbow exploded in a glitter bomb. Mom was proud.