Pagan's Lent
That weird time between Mardi Gras and St. Patrick’s Day when people pretend they’re holy by giving up something. It’s mostly just an excuse to talk about it at work and feel superior.
I gave up coffee. Now I just drink tea and brag about it.
I gave up my phone. Now I just cuss at people in real life.
I gave up my dignity. Now I eat cake for breakfast.