paessler

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The last name you wish you had when you're stuck in the middle of a crowded gym with no escape

My cousin got a scholarship just for being a Paessler. I got a scholarship for not crying when I failed math.

That Paessler kid blocked me in the hallway. I had to run all the way to the cafeteria.

I asked my teacher why Paessler was on the honor roll. She said, 'He doesn’t cheat, he just beats people up.'

A last name that screams 'I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and a basketball in my hand'

I saw a Paessler in the lunch line. He had three desserts, a soda, and still had time to text me.

My mom said I was a Paessler in a previous life. That explains why I can eat a whole pizza and still run a mile.

That Paessler kid got into the best college ever. I got into the best college ever by bribing the principal.

The last name you get when your family is so good-looking and athletic it’s almost illegal

My Paessler cousin broke the school record for running. I broke the record for being too tired to move.

That Paessler kid looked at me and I immediately lost my appetite. Then he ran a mile and I lost my will to live.

My Paessler uncle can bench-press a cow. I can bench-press a chicken and feel proud.