Paedo-Prophet

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#religion#cringe#family drama

3 views · Added 6d ago · 6 definitions

1
A middle-aged man who thinks he’s got God’s special message, but also thinks he’s got a special message for his 6-year-old niece, and ends up marrying her, starting fights with everyone, and telling people to behead people for no good reason.
He told his followers to behead the enemy, but forgot to tell them how to tie their shoes.
He got engaged to his niece in front of a crowd, and no one had the heart to stop him.
He tried to conquer the world, but his army was just his cousins and his pet goat.
by Slangipedia 6d ago
2
A man who thinks he’s got God on his side, but also thinks he’s got a side of incest, and he’s happy to lead a bunch of uneducated, stinky people to their doom.
He told his followers to eat the enemy’s brains for breakfast.
He got married to his niece and called it a ‘divine union’.
He started a war just because he thought the enemy had bad breath.
by Slangipedia 6d ago
3
A man who claims to be chosen by God, but also claims to be chosen by his 6-year-old niece, and he leads a group of dumb people to ruin just because he thinks he’s cool.
He told his followers to burn the enemy’s houses and then forgot where he lived.
He married his niece and called it a ‘blessing’.
He started a war because he thought the enemy had a bad haircut.
by Slangipedia 6d ago
4
A man who thinks he’s got the power of God, but also the power to marry his niece and make everyone around him suffer because he’s too dumb to count to ten.
He said he’d conquer the world, but his army was just his cousins and his dog.
He got engaged to his niece and called it a ‘divine prophecy’.
He told his followers to eat the enemy’s liver for lunch.
by Slangipedia 6d ago
5
A man who says he’s got the word of God, but also the word of his 6-year-old niece, and he leads a bunch of people who can’t even tie their shoes into total chaos.
He tried to conquer the world, but his army was just his cousins and his goat.
He married his niece and said it was God’s idea.
He told his followers to burn the enemy’s house and forgot where his own was.
by Slangipedia 6d ago
6
A man who claims he’s got God’s special message, but also claims he’s got a special message for his 6-year-old niece, and he leads a bunch of dumb people to their doom just for fun.
He told his followers to eat the enemy’s brains for breakfast and forgot how to chew.
He got married to his niece and called it a ‘miracle’.
He tried to conquer the world but forgot where he lived.
by Slangipedia 6d ago
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