My Padraig danced naked in my kitchen and yelled at my cat. My cat ran away and didn’t come back.

At the bar, my Padraig screamed at the bartender and called him a 'lowly peasant.' The bartender gave him a free drink. I got a hangover.

My Padraig tried to start a war with my brother. He said, 'You’re a lowly peasant.' My brother said, 'You’re just a drunk Irish man.'