paddy whacker
A cop's baton. It's what the Irish got when they messed up, because cops hated them more than they hated the guy who stole their lunch money.
"I got clocked by a paddy whacker so hard I forgot how to breathe.", @IrishBrokeAss
"My uncle got a paddy whacker to the face for stealing a pie from a cop's kid.", @PieThiefLegend
"That paddy whacker was so loud I thought my neighbor had a screaming fit.", @NoisyCopFan