pada-jew

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a fake jew who acts like they're one just to feel important. they know enough to say 'shabbat shalom' but can't spell 'kashrut' without looking it up

my cousin said he's jewish because he knows how to light candles but can't tell the difference between a challah and a bagel

the guy at the deli says 'kosher' like it's a superpower but can't even eat a ham sandwich without crying

my teacher tried to convert to judaism just so she could skip lunch on friday

a non-jew who thinks they're cool because they know some jewish stuff. they can say 'bar mitzvah' but don't know what it means

my friend tried to wear a kippah just to get into the temple, but he forgot to take it off when he went to the movies

the guy in my class claims he's jewish because he can say 'shalom' but can't spell 'challah'

my neighbor tried to convert just so he could eat a latke on saturday and didn't realize it's a holiday

a non-jew who acts like they're jewish just to get attention. they know the basics but can't handle the real stuff

my coworker said he's jewish because he knows how to say 'hamotzi' but can't handle the smell of gefilte fish

my friend tried to be jewish just so he could skip school on friday but got caught wearing a kippah in math class

my mom's friend tried to convert so she could eat a sufganiyot but couldn't handle the sugar rush