Package thief
A package thief is like a thief who’s got a map to your dreams. They take your favorite stuff and leave you with nothing but bad vibes and a raccoon scribble.
My 5-hour energy drinks were stolen. I’m now running on caffeine and rage.
My new phone came in, and it was gone. I’m now texting with my toes.
My vitamin shipment was stolen. I’m now on a diet of regret and snack food.