Package Stalker

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2 views · Added 7d ago · 3 definitions

When you can't stop checking your phone for package updates like it's a damn addiction and you're being paid by the delivery company

I’ve checked my package 17 times today. It’s still sitting in a warehouse. I’m gonna die.

I just got a text from my mom: ‘Why is your package moving?’ I replied: ‘Why is your life not moving?’

I’m not sleeping. I’m waiting for my package to arrive. It’s like a relationship. It’s got to be perfect.

When you stalk your package like it’s your ex and you’re jealous of every stop it makes

My package went from ‘out for delivery’ to ‘delivered’ and I didn’t get it. I’m gonna find that package and make it pay.

I got a notification my package is at the post office. I called the post office. They said it’s not there. I’m gonna call the package.

I tracked my package through three states. I’m not even going to open it. I’m too tired.

When you track a package so much you know the driver’s name and their coffee order

I know the driver’s name is Steve and he drinks black coffee. I know this because I’ve tracked my package for a month.

I asked the delivery guy if he knew where my package was. He said, ‘Yes, it’s behind you.’ I turned around. It was on the floor.

I’ve tracked my package so much I’ve memorized the delivery route. I’m gonna start a delivery company.